We were FINALLY able to pull away from Snow Canyon State Park in southern Utah and I felt as though I’d been set free from whatever hold the desert had over me.
A friend recently wrote this to me, “… as you ponder the meaning of life, don’t forget to factor in the meaning that you yourself make.” And there it is: Every single one of us has a place. We each and every one of us have an effect. I am certain. And that cannot be insignificant.
When I look back at this, now, I wonder that I was ever so certain. It stands in such stark contrast to my current pessimism. But I was positive. Enough to get me to leave my home of eight years in Utah, to buy land in a state I’d only visited once and to build a new home and a new life on my own in New Mexico.
I’m packing a bag and some books and heading down to Taos to stay in Mabel Dodge Luhan’s old house. Really. I am. I can’t believe it myself, but it’s true.
Pain or no I intend to continue. And you all are some of what I know to grab hold of when I need a pull up, when I need to remember who I am.
… I put some real heart into wondering why I had ever been. And there was nothing. No great thing. No reason at all that I could come up with.
… and I haven’t even started with Kim’s divine pastries—tarts and scones and cakes and pies and cobblers…