Sometimes I get lost. I don’t mean out in the world, out in landscape. But, rather, lost in terms of any sense of how I fit within the world—unclear about what gives my life meaning or why I exist, where I belong. I lose my center. We all do. I know I am not so special in this. But it never feels good when we are—lost that is—does it? When the land shifts beneath our feet and there seems to be nothing solid.
Something I have found over the years that helps me tremendously is nature. If I go out into the beauty and silence of the natural world I will always find a sort of bread crumb trail back to me. And from there the rest is relatively easy.
Last night I ventured out into the silent darkness of a cloudy night, just me, alone in the land grant. The forest wrapped itself around me and told me that I am not alone in the world and I am “not beyond love” as David Whyte has so beautifully written in his poem, Sweet Darkness. “Time to go into the dark/where the night has eyes to recognize its own/The night will give you a horizon/further than you can see,” he says. And it did me last night.
I used to be afraid of the dark. Now it offers me solace and space and a sort of healing. It gives me that far horizon further than I can see. And there is something very grounding about being in that much space; that much solitude. I feel my feet upon the earth. I hear my breath, feel my heart beating rhythmically, blood flowing in my veins. And in these moments I understand and remember that I am part of the whole.
Ahhhh. I need nothing more than this—to feel that ancient collective recognition breathing here inside me. And while I am singularly alone and am all I ever really have, I am all this as well, and never really alone. I matter (we all do). I am no longer lost. I am found.
Love to you all,
Jeane
Beautiful…
Thank you Carol!
So happy to have you sharing again:) I know you were enjoying the Pacific NW and surrounded by joy and love, but it is good to see you here again also. Is it the settling back into your New Mexico home after seeing your childhood home again that stirs your emotions?
I have immersed myself in David Whyte’s writings via Audio books as of late. Amazing, amazing works. (note how I repeated myself…he does this often in his reading of his poems…I do not have a book yet by him to see if the lines actually repeat on the page or if he is giving us a chance to absorb their meaning in the audio:) I will look them up online!! I have ordered his books from the library to read when they are available.
David Whyte quoted W.S. in one of his books:
Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake. ~Wallace Stevens
Of this I am certain:)
XOXOX
Ah, honey bun, the blog is playing tricks on you once again 🙂 I wrote that post before I left so Adam could be regularly publishing them. But it was a time of some sense of loss–always good whatever the emotions. And I AM happy to be back sharing (you may have missed some posts because when I’m not here they don’t get shared from my High Road Artist FB page to my Jeane George Weigel FB page. You might check out that page: https://www.facebook.com/HighRoadArtist).
Those lines David Whyte repeats are not how the poems are written. You understand perfectly what he’s doing. He’s giving us all a chance to “… absorb their meaning.” Exactly so.
Yes, a walk around the lake, in the woods, on the beach, through the canyon… ah, the wealth of nature.
So wait, you are home in NM again though right? I will go see where the posts were showing up:) I was just interpreting my own version of what you wrote pffffffffft….lol telling you of myself I reckon like we all do when we open our mouths or type a few words, lol.
oops I tried that link..it said it was not available…gone somehow.
Did you go into FB, onto your page, and use the FB search engine for High Road Artist? You should get hooked up with it that way. Please let me know if THAT’S not working. I’ll get Adam on it if so.
Yes, I am back in NM now and am getting close to sharing new photos, etc., on my blog FB page which is the link I gave you. Not sure why it’s not working. Once on FB you can search for High Road Artist and you’ll find the page. I have the Jeane page which I rarely use except to share blog posts, and the High Road Artist page that I’m pretty active with.
We all hear ourselves in the other, don’t we? It’s a lovely part of being human I think.
I’m very glad to be back.
Jeane, Thank you for this beautiful post. Love,SE
So happy it resonates with you Suellen. Thanks for letting me know.
I think I was meant to read this today. Thank you.
I’m so glad you found the post and that it offers something of meaning to you today. Thank you for letting me know.