Standing Up to My Easel
It’s snowing outside and I don’t have to scramble to dash off to work. Instead Anna, Bill and I decided to close the gallery today and have a snow day in our home studios. The fire is crackling, the animals are snoozing and I am at the easel. That has to be my very favorite thing, standing up to my easel.
Whatever comes, it doesn’t really matter. In fact I’m beginning two new pieces unlike anything I’ve ever done before and I have no idea where they’re going or if they’ll end up working at all. But I have this feeling infusing me that’s so rich and wonderful. It’s like I’m full—full of energy and light, purpose, a reason to be.
I scoop paint out of jars with my favorite pallet knife and mix it together, cobalt blue swirling into raw umber, like stirring marble cake mix with my mom in the 50s. There’s something so deeply peaceful about this act.
Then I put brush to paint to canvas—ahhh—there’s just nothing like it. Sheer, perfect, utter bliss.
I have been doubting my work quite a bit lately—looking to others whose paintings I admire and bludgeoning myself with them rather than being inspired. Never a good place to be. I know you all know what I’m talking about—that terrible self-critic telling us our work isn’t “real art”—that it isn’t, in fact, real anything.
But none of that matters when I am here at the easel. It is just me, private, spiritual. This is real. This is what matters. It is like a prayer. If I give nothing else, I give this energy that rises from me when I paint. Let THIS be my gift. Whether or not these pieces come to fruition. THIS is the fruition. THIS is what I was born to create.
Love to you all,
Jeane
An AMEN from the choir you are speaking to here:)!! I LOVE life …I wake up happy to be alive and let that be my mantra for the day:) I agree wholeheartedly – the energy we emit is the gift ultimately we give that can ease pain, bring peace, and joy to all the rest of “ourselves” man and creature, rock and cloud alike.
Yes. It’s one of the reasons it’s so important to be conscious of the energy we’re putting out there–to be as positive as we can be as much of the time as possible–because whatever we’re experiencing, we put out in the world.
I concur:)
🙂
I ADORE your paintings….they emit the love and pure joy you pour into them. Each has their spot to rest…they may love being near you so much it takes them a while to grow up and fly away:) Just like children.
Thank you, Grace. Yes, they’ve been hanging around quite a bit this slow season. But just being back to actively creating like this opens the flow, I think. As new paintings are born, the earlier pieces may decide it’s time for them to go to their forever homes. I’ve attached a photo of the two pieces finished, when I delivered them to Bill at Hand Artes.
Let that energy rise! You go girl! Creating is the most beautiful feeling of all; we as artists must have this (that overflowing of creativity) for it is born in us and we will continue with it till the end of time! I love it when it is raining outside (kind of like your snow days) and get the chance to paint! It’s just a cozy creative feeling kind of day for me. Enjoy your cozy snow days and keep on creating! Take Care, Cin =)
Thanks Cindy. It is wonderful to create and we artists are driven to do so. I’m happy you’re finding time to paint. That’s great news.
Jeane, thanks for sharing about your inner critic. So glad to know I am not alone as I also have those moments and I thought it was because I am just starting out.
Oh, you are most definitely not alone! Every single artist I know must find ways to create in spite of a very tenacious inner critic. My Buddhist teacher used to tell me to invite her into the studio to be a part of the process but, once there, I was to tell her she had to behave. How are you doing with The Artist’s Way?
Love these sentiments!! The dogs resting in your studio find solace in your quiet work, too.
Thank you, Julia. Yes, the dogs (and the cats you can’t see in the photos) are a great support to my creative process. They are the epitamy of peace.
Thank you Sherikb. What a lovely compliment. I do love my life and feel privileged to get to live it. But, like everything, even this artist’s life has its challenges. It is not all roses for sure. But that doesn’t make me love it less. I think it may even make me love it more.
Jeane same thing happened to me, I followed artists hoping it would help me,and suddenly it was making me afraid to paint. Finally one artist’s work and words helped me. recently as far as painting is concerned, and I am starting again. This was not you because we were not discussing or showing as much art when I visited your blogs or Facebook, but your thoughts and life are really uplifting , and help to remember what life really is ,and what it should be. Thank You , again!!
So happy to know you’re painting again, Alison. You go girl!