Wisdom Wednesdays are usually quotes from others that I’ve found inspiring through the years. However, I just came across some writings of mine written in 1997 and in 1995 that I wanted to share. This is the third of those, written in 1997:
My Block
I’m just finishing a painting of the trees in my neighborhood, which nicely fits both things I think of when I sit down to write about “My Block”: my painting block, and the place where I live, although it’s not really a block.
I live at the base of a greenbelt, just a few hundred yards from the bay. There are no sidewalks, it looks like the country, we have foxes, eagles, great blue herons and owls living among us and I’m just 15 minutes from downtown Seattle.
Then the other: the painting block. I quit painting 26 years ago. I quit because I no longer had the time nor the energy for it, since I was working my way up in corporate America and the practicality of earning a living took precedence. So I blocked out painting. I had to, otherwise it hurt too much to leave it behind.
But I’ve found my way back and I’m no longer blocked. I’m painting my neighborhood trees in these chunks of abstract shadow and light and I’m painting my life back. Because painting is what I’m about. To my core. Without it life dried up to a brittle husk and there was no meaning left–no magic–only money and “comfort” and practicality, which is no life.
So in many ways, I’m grateful to the painting block because without it I wouldn’t have been able to see, in retrospect, what painting’s loss meant. And I never could have known what it feels like to quit the drudgery of practicality for the flight of creative freedom within my own being–never could have experienced the scream of exhilaration and passion that has exploded in me, forcing me to see clearly that it is practicality that isn’t practical for me. For me it’s practical to paint, to express my soul in light and form, living here in the woods outside of Seattle.
You are so lucky Jeane to have found that one thing that brings you happiness. I’m still looking. I know those things that speak to my heart, but have not be able to focus in yet. I do know that reading your blog helps me to realize that I’m important…that my identity is not tied to those that I serve.
Thank you for the support you give daily in your blog and in FBook. Looking forward…Kim Moore
I am lucky, Kim. I used to say if I knew what I wanted to do I’d go do it. But I did know, I just couldn’t embrace it for all those years. And I’ve found it isn’t just the one thing that brings my soul alive. While painting is a huge part of it for me, writing is as well, and shooting photos, the blog, creating this new gallery space, living among my friends, loving my animals, walking on the land grant. Even my sorrows, the challenges, my struggles, sometimes, to believe. It all dove-tails into a whole that makes my heart sing.
It has come together over years of exploration. Fifteen years ago, when this all began, I had no idea the extent of what was being born. I just knew about painting then. And painting led me here. You have taken some recent steps toward your own self care and self discovery. That’s exactly how you’ll discover your happiness–by taking those steps, one by one, as they present themselves to you. You know what speaks to your heart and you’ve begun. You’ll find your happiness, I promise. I am thrilled that the blog is supporting your journey. That’s a part of my happiness now too. THANK YOU!