Wisdom Wednesdays are usually quotes from others that I’ve found inspiring through the years. However, I just came across some writings of mine written in 1997 and in 1995 that I wanted to share. This is the second of those, written in 1997:
Roommates
Sam’s my roommate. Sort of. She lives in the apartment I built in my downstairs because I was coming close to not being able to make my house payments. I’m an outside salesperson and my sales were way down. I hadn’t lived with anybody for years, so the thought of sharing my space scared me. The apartment seemed like a good compromise, although I had some reservations even about that. But I squeezed my eyes shut, took a deep breath, and started building because I had to.
Sam answered my ad on the second week it ran. She moved in in May.
I don’t remember when we got to know each other. She had been a bookkeeper but she’d left the business world because of all the reasons many of us dislike it. She is taking jobs now, trying to find what she really wants to do. As a result, she never has much money but somehow she always lives well. She knows how to budget, how to prioritize. And she has a great eye for painting.
I’m a painter, but I hadn’t painted in 26 years. Coinciding with Sam’s arrival, I’ve started again. It’s magic. It’s like Sam coming to live here: an example of courage in her willingness to face the unknown and to be afraid.
So I’m leaving sales. And I don’t know how I’ll make the house payment come September. But I have four commissions to paint and a heart full of faith and desire for the first time in as long as I can remember and a roommate who’s paved the way out of corporate America and into my art, into my soul.
I can relate to this post, big time! There was a time in NM, after living on stale hamberger buns for a week, I caved and called my son and had to ask him to wire money to me via western union, the situation was really bad. He wired the money, but on the phone he said “So…are you readyto come home?” and I said yes and went back to Va đ So, having the roommate option was a good thing, you didn’t wait till you were in dier straights! One thing for sure that I learned, you must have options!
Well, yes, and a willingness to piece together options–and that thing I keep stressing: BELIEF!
Hi Jeane,
I find it interesting that when it came time to writing your blog in 2010 you had the thought that you weren’t a good writer, and yet you wrote this in 1997. Â In sharing your vulnerabilities you help me to see how often my “not good enough” voice stops me in my life. Â Thanks again for your inspiration.
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Namaste,
Suellen
Yes, that sense of not being good enough haunts most of us I think. But I also had some ideas about what writing was–short stories, novels, maybe poetry. I didn’t consider these short bits to be real writing. So the blog format is perfect for me. I get to write short bits. đ
Lovely writing:)  Simple and eloquently so. I didn’t realize that was how your room mate allowed for your transition to painting.  I am so happy she was there for you:).
Amazing how easily at least you wrote of it…stress was not apparent in the words if there was any.
XOXOX
Grace
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Hi Grace–
I missed this comment in the transition to the new commenting system. So sorry! But Adam seems to have all the bugs worked out now, not the least of which was bringing me up to speed on how to use it–that whole teaching an old dog new tricks thing.
Yes, you and I both know that when we’re ready the teacher will come. Sam was an important guide to me then. She lived an example of following her intuition and facing her fears. She was exactly perfect for me.Â
It was fun to find these old writings because I’m writing, now, on the blog about what I went through back then, but this shows me what was actually happening in a kind of “real time” revisited. I had a ton of faith, as you mention. No stress. I think living the reality has brought much up that I didn’t know back then–all a part of the rich lessons this life has to offer.