It is never easy to change—even when we know it is in our best interests. Old ways are deeply learned behaviors that have become embedded in the very fiber of our beings. It is incredibly hard to let go of even just a small piece of closely held self-concept. I know you all know this. I sure do. I think it’s tied to our human survival instincts which tell us the unknown is dangerous; the tried and true is safe. So whenever we endeavor to let the old go, our built-in wiring for survival fights us. I think we are hard wired to stay in what we know.
A wise friend once told me when I was beating myself up for struggling in a time of growth that the work I was doing was incredibly hard, that it was evolutionary, and if I could move forward by even just a millimeter it was a stunning achievement. And why do we do that–what I did to myself–when we’re facing transitions, small ones, big ones, why is it that we are often so fierce with ourselves when what we really need is to be kind? Maybe the battering is just another way we’ve devised to stay stuck. I don’t know.
Betty arrived at class today on the heels of a revelation. She had decided she is stubborn. This conclusion was reached because of a photo-taking assignment I’d given her. She was to set aside time, every week, to go shoot photos for painting scrap. It’s been an ongoing assignment but she hasn’t been coming up with much. She wasn’t out at the right time of day to get good light. She didn’t find subjects that interested her. Her camera was difficult—there were complications with the digital and when she switched to film the local processing place suspended their one-hour service…
This morning Betty realized she’d been struggling to gather photos because it might advance her art. There. She has resisted pursuing her art for the better part of 77 years now and THAT has become her self-concept. If she actually seriously did make art, who would she be then? Taking photos became her line in the sand. If she crossed that line the world as she knew it would end.
We talked about it and I suggested she consider a different choice of words. She wasn’t stubborn. She was scared. Could she have compassion for the spot she found herself in, face her fears and go take some pictures? She can and she will.
Neither of us thinks the issue is done and complete—solidly learned. I believe our lessons must be practiced and taken in over time—the proverbial two steps forward, one step back. But it is a beginning. Betty figured something out today she didn’t know yesterday. And being more conscious more of the time is how we can affect change, even if it is only a millimeter at a time.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.
– Brian Tracy
Lovely.
Great story! I hope Betty just walked through that wall and finds something delightful on the other side.
I believe she has…
Some of us tend to stay in our little comfort zone, inside the box, where it is safe and known. I tend to do this myself. But to achieve in what ever we are doing or to have a chance to find something new we must make that venture outside of our comfort zone; that little box. For if you don’t you may miss out on something grand: a new art project or new way of doing it; exploring new options, a new friendship, a new place to find and take in, and many more exciting persons, places, and things. Even new ways of thinking, like they say: “Think outside the box!” Well venture outside it and go to the exstremes…excitement only awaits you! I often don’t like change, but when I do, I almost always end up SMILING!!! I’m glad that Betty found that step forward outside of the box to learn something new about herself! Take Care, Cin =)
Yes, I believe change is a challenge for all of us. It goes against our nature. But I do think life is designed in ways that encourage us to go against our instincts. I think we get to achieve more growth that way. The universe has been designed to support our greatest growth and greatest good, I believe.
Egads, here I am again…..and, if my experiences encourage others, then HOORAY!!!
Read a quote by Diane Ackerman “Painters grow richer visual-asociation ranges; musicians
auditory glens; writers language orchards,” True, true and I am finding fresh joy daily in
simply observing and relish PHOTO TAKING and deep appreciation for Jeane……love from Betty
Thanks Betty! Beautiful quote and so true. We’re all appreciative that you’re willing to share your growth. It DOES support others, me included. Bless you!
Betty, you are inspiring me on a deep, deep level. Thank you for moving forward even if you are scared. Thank you for loving yourself enough to paint.
Blessings,
Sheri
Beautiful sentiments, Sheri. Thank you.