In 2013 I got back to painting full time, painting deeply and meaningfully, creating important works for me. And I credit shingles with getting me back to the easel.
As many of you know I was hit hard with shingles late in 2012 and lived with post shingles pain throughout the whole of 2013. That was simply my body talking to me, yet again, telling me what I didn’t want to hear. But it was insistent enough to force me to listen.
Because of shingles I left my partnership in the Anna Karin Gallery. I quit posting to the blog seven days a week. Many of you might see these as losses, and I sure did when I was making these decisions. But I was being made to take the time and space I’ve always needed in order to make meaningful art; time and space I kept giving to other causes.
Because of shingles I have painted more in one year than in the last three combined. I’ve gone out on a limb, taken risks and painted some soul-delving work.
I took the time to get back to the silence of nature waiting right here in my backyard canyon…
… the time to appreciate all kinds of beauty…
… and sweetness…
I was inspired by the work taking place around me…
I listened deeply…
… to the silence…
I breathed in the fragrant air…
I watched…
I stopped…
I daydreamed…
… all because my body, my soul, demanded it.
None of this was planned or expected. In fact I worried I’d forgotten how to paint, that I might never paint again. And life is like this: much that is important happens when we least expect it and comes to us in ways we might not like or want. But I’m convinced that when we listen, even to those things we may abhor, when we follow our inner guidance, when we pay attention to the nudging of the universe, remarkable things can happen. We may even create paintings we had no idea were in there waiting to be painted.
So to all of us I wish for a letting go of what no longer serves and an embrace of the unexpected, whether it seems good or bad in the moment.
And I’ll take it one further: here’s to shingles, the gift I thought I didn’t want, the bit of real life that brought me back to who I am.
And here’s to 2014, a year opening before us that is filled with the unknown, holding promise just waiting to unfold. May we all walk willingly into the offered void.
Love to you all,
Jeane
Gads, do I ever get this. Two days before Christmas, I found out one of my dogs, Tess, has cancer – a mast cell skin tumor. I’ve had three dogs who’ve had this and lost two of them, but there’s a new protocol now and I have a felt sense this will work as the tumor seems not to have metastasized. The process has a five month timeline and is horribly expensive, but this is a life and I love her. My life is not my own now – as if it ever was – but surrendered to being guided to do what’s best for this little being, whatever that may be.
And…funny thing. She and I have been close, but even tho’ she has no idea what’s happening to her (or maybe she does but isn’t telling me :), we’re even closer. She’s taught me in her doggie way over the years so much about unconditional love and being Present, and I’ve taught her about trust. Now we snack together on celery and carrot sticks instead of carbs. She’s bright eyed and bouncy and full of life even at 14. We go for walks with pound dog #2, Buddy, who came to me from the shelter at age 12. Our lives are becoming more pure and centered because of what’s happening to her and, in turn, to us. We’re all fully connected.
What we humans choose to call “good” or “bad” are gifts, not to be pushed away but embraced as life experiences. Whatever happens, happens. The kindness and beauty that we engage as we walk the path to “happening” is what brings peace, joy, and makes us whole. My art will change. My writing will change. My life will change. As it should be.
Best wishes to you in the new year, Jeane. Thanks for pulling this out of me.
Farishtah
Thank you so much for this moving story. I’m so glad Tess has you and you have Tess. And Buddy. To have adopted him at 12 just expands my heart. These beings bring us so much, day in and day out, minute by minute. Mine have kept me alive. Wishing you all peace as this new year opens, and renewed health to dear Tess. But whatever the outcome you all get THIS time, right now. Bless you. Jeane
Tess has helped me keep my balance by not staying locked up inside myself. Now is all there is. One of the things I like about your paintings is how you capture the now in an abstract way that points to its timelessness. Many thanks, Jeane.
Farishtah
Wow. What a wonderful compliment. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing your story and beautiful pictures of winter in your backyard. I’m glad to know that you are on the mend. Here’s to great things in 2014. This is the year that we plan to make our move from CA to NM. I look forward to seeing you there!
Annie
Thanks Annie. Yes, 2014 just feels like it’s bursting with promise. Let’s meet one day over at Hand Artes Gallery. Until then, have a wondrous 2014.
Hooray. Hip Hip Hooray. 2014 has been promised by so many, but I find your “bursting with promise” outlook happily fulfilling. Only you could find the good in Shingles, Jeane, but knowing you and your desire to do such incredible things, all the time, then I understand that it took this horrible virus to get your complete attention. Blessings come to us in so many ways, I guess. And remember this, it was 50 years ago that we were obsessed with the Beatles. Fifty? Happy painting. Hugs to the kids and Kim.
Thanks Hon, and only you could constantly, steadily, believe in me… Thank you for your steadfastness. The Beatles seem like YESTERDAY to me. Yikes! Many blessings back to you.
You are so very inspiring…now I know why I could not find you on the high road this past year. You were busy listening…