This month is Skye’s third year anniversary of coming to live with me (see previous posts Night Skye, A Celebration of Skye’s First Year and Rescue Dog: For the Love of Skye). I wasn’t going to mark it on the blog but something quite amazing has happened lately: Skye is letting me touch her.
This may not sound like a big deal to most of you but Skye has been so fearful for nearly three years, that she would bolt anytime I walked too close to her, anywhere in the house, or any time of day, with one exception.
She would let me CAREFULLY pet her when I tucked the dogs into their beds at night–but not too much and not too close. She was, I should note, very comfortable with the other dogs, Kelee who raised her, and the newer-comer, Finny. She adores them both. I was another story, however. Definitely not a member of Skye’s comfort club.
But, as I said, things have changed. I can actually sit with her, now, and pet her anyplace anytime. I massage her ears and her muscles, I scratch her back and tummy and chest (she favors her chest and lifts her front paws so I can get in there), and I stroke her–long, luxurious, caresses from her nose, down her back, to the tip of her tail; under her soft mouth and chin, her sweet neck and dulaps. She gazes up at me in wonderment and rapture. And I say to her, “You see what you’ve been missing? The DOGS can’t do this for you, can they?”
And that has made me think and wonder: What do I miss by being fearful? What would I be amazed by if I wasn’t bound up by old restrictions? What protections do I hold onto that are no longer necessary?
And honestly, I don’t know. Do you?
On a daily basis my little Skye presents herself to me now…
… asking for the attention, the love, that’s been available to her all along, that she’s been too afraid to accept.
And I ask all of us: What are we missing?
A nod to Skye’s brother dog, Kelee, who brought her around from feral to possible to probable to doable. Dear Skye has done the rest.
Love to you all,
Jeane
It is a good question. I think I have been pretty fearless in my lifetime, having taken good and bad risks and surviving, thank goodness. I am afraid to go into a party situation alone. Big deal? Yes, because I don’t want to lie when asked where I was… I do lie about it. . I think I mostly fear losing a child or grandchild before I die. The losses I have already experienced have prepared me in many ways, but I realize that life goes on and further happiness is possible. I’ve been lucky but I work at being happy. There, you have it. PS: Love the photo of Kelee, and your love of Skye has finally won over her fear. Well done!
One of the reasons I never had children was because I didn’t think I could survive their loss. I realize, now that I’m older, that I have lived the loss of my children for a lifetime, having never allowed myself the joy of having them.
That pic of Kelee happened in a brief moment. He was next to my desk (because I was AT my desk), just as the sun rose. He was, literally, lit by the sun.
And dear, dear Skye. It is so lovely to see her coming out of some of her fears. She’s very happy about it, silly, and playful. Yes! She even PLAYS with me sometimes. I forgot to put that in the post.
This is a wonderful post and a great question. I will have to ponder it. I see Skye is another lucky dog to have found you, glad she has gotten over her fears. I hope Finn improves daily.
Thank you Annie. I’m still pondering it myself. I think, when we consciously take in such a question, our minds and bodies sort of process it with us–even when we sleep–and start working out the answers; bringing them to us.
Finny just had his dose of meds for this week (1 dose per week). He’s having to go through the die off of the parasites and the toxins they release as they die. Killing the parasites too quickly is what could kill Finn. So he’ll have good days and bad days. Ultimately he’ll have to take quadruple the dose he’s taking now, for 3 straight days. But the plan is for most of the parasites to be gone by then, so the final die off won’t harm Finn. Thanks for your good thoughts.
I agree, and dreams are my main source for answers.
Thank you for the update on Finn. Hugs to the whole dog (and cat) family, I am hoping Finn has way more good days than bad. Many prayers.
Jeane, I forgot to mention that after your original sharing about Skye, I didn’t connect it when you said that she was Kelee’s. I thought that meant that he watched out for her, but not that he was the only warm body she would tolerate. That makes my adulation for the Kman even stronger. And the sun quenched photo of Kelee shows just how he shines!