Who am I? I’ve been wrestling with this question, as we all do, for a few days now, which is why you didn’t hear from me yesterday. This question and it’s companion question, WHAT am I? have held me in their tight grip and I have to say I’m quite lost.
Am I this land I live on?
This house I built?
The mountain that inspires me?
The village I live in?
The friends I love?
The walks I take?
The animals I’ve rescued?
The things I enjoy?
A painter?
A writer?
A photographer?
A blogger?
Of course I am partly all of these things, but what does it mean in the whole? Who am I and what am I supposed to do? Am I to earn my living as a painter, a writer, a photographer, a blogger? And if not these, what then? That’s one of the questions I think all artists have asked across the years: “If not this, what?”
I’ve followed the messages of the universe and they brought me to painting, to writing, to photography, to Truchas, to the blog. I write about holding onto hope and belief; about taking the leap into darkness and having faith that something is there; about living our dreams, our truths. I stand as an example that it is possible. And I believe, to the bottom of my soul, that this is what we’re meant to do.
But what now, Spirit? What now? Show me.
Love to you all,
Jeane
I have to say, I was surprised by today’s post. Are you feeling like it’s time to open a new chapter? When I consider your life, and your journey as I know it from the Blog, (and I may be waaay off base here) to me, it feels like you are living your truth, and I might add, enriching the lives of SO many others by sharing your gifts, your art and your writing and the fabulous photos that make it all so “real.” It’s because of your insightful posts that I have come to experience a heightened awareness of my own surroundings. I just plain notice more and I find beauty and gratitude in the everyday. As I read your post today, I thought of how generous you are to be so honest and open, and vulnerable. And in each post you seem to serve up a lesson, big or small, it is there, and I’m not even sure that is your intent.
But how presumptuous of me to think that your current path is your forever path. I have no doubt in my mind that you will continue to grow and evolve. It is who you are. This I know for sure.
Ah Terry, I had a fairly long response to you nearly finished and somehow the blog glitched and it was lost. Suffice it to say that I am truly grateful for your sensitive response to this post. I’m going to write a detailed answer to you in a post of its own in fact. You have entered into a conversation I was hoping to generate–an important one I feel.
I do believe I am living my truth and I can’t tell you how meaningful it is to me that my posts have touched your life in such splendid ways. I appreciate you letting me know.
Thank you, too, for finding today’s post “generous” in its openness and vulnerability. It was something of a leap for me to do.
While you and I both know nothing lasts forever, it is my dearest hope that this current path I am walking lasts a very, very long time.
More soon…
I thought about you when I read this….we are all seekers……
http://thespiritthatmovesme.blogspot.com/2013/01/unnamed.html?m=1
Thank you Jody. It is a lovely article on a thoughtful blog. Yes, indeed, we are all seekers…..
I missed seeing this yesterday, you spoke of the small response to it, but for me I just MISSED it in my busy day. I think this is wonderful…the most relevant questions and the ones least easy to pigeonhole an answer to, except to say we are all of these things you have asked about and possibly none of them as well. And we are ALL this. Being at peace while “being” perfect in every moment is the most lovely gift we can realize we are holding all the while. To wake up from a dream of being other than this, and realize we are and always have been on this perfect path. I happen to believe that moving on from this life is just as much a gift as our birth and beginning this path is. So I am open to the next adventure with the same expectation of joy and light that I hold for each birth I see as outside myself and each day, each moment as this birth in kind. I do not know if I would have been so if I had not had near death experiences, great loss and pain in my life that allowed me the experiences to stay open and expectant of good through. You have been dreaming, there there, look all is perfect:) BIG LOVE to you this and all days and sweet nights.
Thank you, thank you Grace. Whenever I don’t hear from YOU I know you are just busy. I clarified in today’s post (Sunday the 20th) that I really look at that little “like” box at the top of the post to see if it’s getting a good response. Most people don’t write comments but I can tell a bit about how a post is being received by watching that.
I know you’ve been through lots of loss and trauma and pain, but I didn’t know you’d had a near-death experience! I, too, don’t fear death. I just fear not making enough money to continue on this artist’s path. But I know I can’t be attached to any ideas of what is right in the next moment. And I know I will love whatever it is. Fear just happens sometimes and must be embraced as you say.
Came across this on a rock n roll FB page “myRockworld” administrated by a German friend of mine: ?”Being an intellectual creates a lot of questions and no answers. You can fill your life up with ideas and still go home lonely. All you really have that really matters are feelings. That’s what music is to me.”
(Janis Joplin)
We can just replace music with what we are inspired by I reckon.
Lovely, lovely quote. I used to always say to my students, “Get out of your heads and into your hearts” to make your art. But I also think it’s good advice for LIVING.
Jeane, by the way, you look BEAUTIFUL in your self portraits on this blog:) <3
You’re very, very sweet. Of course I got to pick the angles and what I wanted to show 🙂 I liked them because they kind of pulled me out of the blues I was feeling and back into my art.
I started to reply yesterday and got bogged down (and feeling quite dizzy) with my own questions and answers. Eventually I just deleted my confusion. Its the same old question I’ve been circling for years. Who am I? Really looking forward to your next post!
So lovely to hear from you Robyn. The question/s does really get you dizzy, doesn’t it? I was upstairs without a computer when I first took the dive into them so I used paper and pen to circle around MY confusion and ripped up all the pages and scrawls the next morning. Hope you like today’s post (Sun. the 20th). I’m continuing with the whole thing on Monday I think.