It’s another stunning morning here in Truchas, New Mexico. The snowfall of a couple of days ago still lies white on the ground, making it feel a lot like Christmas. Over in the humming bubble of warmth and serenity that is Kim’s Airstream trailer (see previous post A Very Mini Artist’s Colony in New Mexico), sits my very good friend, who will read over this post with me when I’m done. I am walking my path, pursuing my dream, following my bliss, as Joseph Campbell would say. So I understand I’m incredibly lucky. I do know this. And yet I’m also unsettled because this life is hard. Being an artist is hard. There. I’ve said it.
It’s not only my dream to MAKE art, but also to SELL art. I’m not greedy. I don’t yearn to be rich or famous. I just need to earn my living. But the art market has been terribly hurt by all the financial upheaval of recent years and not much is selling (except for those well-publicized multimillion dollar sales at auctions—the Van Goghs and the Warhols–note to myself: I must remember Van Gogh sold nothing in his lifetime and shot himself). The art market is stagnant. And, truth be told, even before the crash it wasn’t easy. But we keep on painting anyway because we don’t know what else to do. We were born to make art.
Add to that the fact I’ve been sick and it’s nearly impossible to feel creative. I’ve been so sick that just to do the animal chores every day and the laundry from time to time is almost overwhelming. The old energy I used to count on—that wonderful inspiration to take photos and write to you, or to begin a new series of paintings, is diminished. I’m sure it’ll return full strength when this consuming pain is gone, leaving yet another lesson or series of lessons I’ll look back on and understand.
But again, let me type it out on this computer screen: This life of being an artist, of following one’s path, is damned hard. In order to do it we work to keep the wolves from our doors and our spirits up, but those wolves come huffing and puffing anyway and our spirits flag. I’ve been “impractical” enough not to have built my life of sturdy bricks like the pigs learned to do. Instead I’ve built it on hopes and dreams, on canvas and computer screen. You all know I believe that to live fully we have to be in the moment—but dreams can waver and there are times when putting one foot in front of the other, as I believe we’re meant to do, is challenging.
The fact is that little is selling–not enough to live on anyway. And as much as the blog has become a labor of love, and it truly has, my hopes have been that it would become a source of regular income that, in conjunction with my paintings, would sustain me financially. There are models of blogs in the blogosphere that are designed to make money. There is the product-for-sale model that offers wares for sale: their books or DVDs or classes or… on and on and on. In fact, during this holiday season, in particular, it’s become wearying to me. Then there’s the less intrusive model I follow—that of ads that attach to the blog (those that you see along the right hand panel of the blog) bringing revenue when readers click on them. The weak link with this model is that you need hundreds of thousands of followers and, more likely, a million or more, to make any kind of money. Whether we like it or not, income is a necessary evil for all of us, whether we have traditional jobs or not. The fact is the blog must earn its keep. I do still believe it will be discovered by hundreds of thousands of people—that, since I am following my heart, as I council all of you to do, in its own sweet way it will find more of its following. And it will continue to sustain me.
Let me say it one more time: Life can be hard sometimes. But against all odds, all evidence to the contrary, we continue to believe in our dreams, and we shore each other up. We get through the rough patches and go on to create another day.
I thought it would be appropriate, as we approach another new year, to renew my resolve to continue; to make my intention clear. And with that in mind, watch for tomorrow’s post. Kim will be taking us, step by step, through his recipe for Sweet Cream Biscuits. You know you won’t want to miss that.
Love to you all,
Jeane
thank for your honesty. i’m feeling much the same way but just told my husband last night (in despair, after wondering if should just give up) that this is the only thing i’ve ever wanted to do. it’s the only thing i can do. my paintings may not be selling like hotcakes, but they are selling. this year i made the commitment to have my own creative space and i made 10 times the amount of paintings in one year than i did in the last ten (and i sold several!) i don’t have money to invest even in basic marketing, packing materials, or a website. i don’t take workshops or classes because first and foremost i’m a homeschooling mom – but i AM an artist. though i can only compare myself with other mixed-media artists enjoying internet fame, not fine artists in national galleries, life IS hard no matter what but it was much harder when i was denying my inner voice (or NOT following my bliss).
Thank you, Valeri, for that very clear perspective: Life IS harder when we deny our truth. I needed to be reminded of that. But please promise me you won’t denigrate your own art by saying it isn’t “fine art.” We all have a tendency to see our art as “less than.” But your paintings are, as you say, the only thing you can do. While being a home-schooling mother, you still find the time to make your art. You’ve devoted yourself to getting your own creative space in order to make more art. That is no small commitment. In fact I’d say it’s the commitment of a fine artist.
thank you. i never knew this reply was here until today when i just so happened to be commenting on another blog through discus and after i logged in i saw a notification. i would have appreciated this at the time you replied but seeing it today is so, such the perfect reminder, the absolute thing i needed to see in exactly the right moment.
of course much has happened in five months – as soon as i read my original post i immediately spotted where i’d sounded doubtful and self deprecating. since then, i’ve worked on that, and in fact, this month, i have several pieces in the microscale show at metallo gallery!!! thank you…i keep still wanting to listen to the voice that tells me i’m non-commital but the truth is, i am and have been dedicated to what matters.
I just love how the universe works, that you “bumped into” my response to you when you needed it. Congratulations on your successes, not the least of which is a continued commitment to making your art.
Your sharing of your joys and challenges are a gift I am grateful for. This “Being”, while a short word and a simple concept, is not always an easy thing. We get to be what ever IT is and that is the largest test and gift I reckon. I wish for you peace with your process of healing – peace can be an illusive thing, I can attest to that myself:)
I have to say that I have taken up Qigong again after about 6 months of letting it go, and it has, in just a few days brought me relief for my own healing process. I forget those things that have been my tools in the past for fully living…and then I remember them again. Whew. How do we forget, in a single lifetime, things that work for us I wonder..and then again, WHY? OY GRACE…I say to myself and then keep on again.
If you need a rest from the cold come visit me in rainy Seattle…:)
XOXOXO
Grace
Ah, thank you, dear Grace for your lovely offer of a break from the cold. But, the truth is, it just now GOT cold. It’s been in the 60s up to the last few days. I’m loving the cold and the promise of more snow on Friday, fingers crossed.
Yes, the practice of being… not so simple after all. And the learning and unlearning and learning again, all a part of it I’m thinking.
I know I must participate in my own healing and that there are lessons to be learned. I do believe and hope that I’m coming to some conclusion with this thing soon. Much as I understand that what is, is perfect, I’ll admit that I will be happy when this is a memory I’m looking back on.
AMEN to that…memories are something one put aside more easily than a current challenge:)!!
Here’s to the memories!
Thank you so much for sharing this. We are all in this together- This current of challenge flowing through the sales department. I make my fins light and let them float like smoke.
Yes, Teal, we are all in this together, and I think that’s a huge part of what makes being an artist, of what makes being alive, so deeply rewarding. You offer a good reminder to keep that sales flow going and light. Thank you.
Jean George,
You left out splitting firewood. I have seen very little of your own painting on the blog. Why are we not seeing it in facebook posts either. I have a friend who reliably sells an average of a painting a week, and the work is cheerful but not technically advanced. How can she sell so much? Push. Lots of push. Her work is in every restaurant that hangs art in Atlanta. She is known to have a very large stock, tending to be about 50 paintings, so she gets a lot of calls to fill in for somebody who didn’t produce. It is high powered marketing, always pushing, more than art. If you get your stuff that much exposure, people will talk about it. Are you prepared for that? Do you have a separate website for your work? How many paintings can you show tonight if you were invited to do a show? Will you appear at the arts festivals in season?
As one of your fans, I try to spread your fame as much as I can. Might you ask your followers to forward you to all their friends? Yours is a very big heart and your followers love you. Enlist us.
ah jeane~ so sorry you’ve been so sick. that will really affect the way you see the world. you are not alone, remember that. we are all pulling for you. i am so glad kim is there to help you and keep you company and cook! and what would we do without our animal friends? have faith. where you are up there perched at the end of the universe is SO lovely. thanks for sharing how difficult it all is. i know that was not easy to do! take care, get well.
from another “impractical” person,
maggie
Thank you so much, Maggie, for your kind and generous words. Yes, I’m so thankful for Kim. And I KNOW I’ll heal and be through with this. I get impatient with myself when just doing the daily chores is almost more than I can do. But, one day, soon I’m hoping, I will be back to full strength, completely healthy, and creativity will once more course through my veins.
Don’t give up. Your photos rock!!!
Thanks for the vote of confidence Teresa!
Young lady, you are an important part of our civilization. From this distance you seem to have a beautiful life. If only more people were smart enough to buy your work. Do you have enough stock to mount a show besides the gallery?
I have looked for your work online, and maybe I am just dumb, but I cannot find it except accidentally in pictures of the gallery. You are very modest and don’t like to talk about it, maybe very sensitive about people looking it, even looking in a coarse manner and commenting. We need to see your work everywhere if we are to spread your fame.