“Getting Over” Having the “Perfect Life”

I have had the privilege of spending some time with a reader of the blog recently. She’s from Albuquerque and her name is Sylvia Montesinos. She has a wonderful website/blog which I’ve just taken the time to peruse. I highly recommend it to all of you. She’s on a very interesting journey and does a wonderful job of writing about it in ways that can support us all. I offer you, here, one of her lovely pieces:

“Getting Over” Having the “Perfect Life”

By Sylvia Montesinos
Posted on her blog http://LivingHeartAndSoul.com

During a morning stroll I was explaining to a good friend not too long ago why I decided to quit my job. The truth is that I had no choice in the matter. It was my job or my soul.

There are actually many types and causes of depression, however, one that is common for many of us and that we can try to address on our own comes to mind. A deep sadness can develop when we stop listening to ourselves.

Often, it is in giving up on and “getting over” all these things we think we need, that we open up the space to find and focus on what really brings us enduring joy and happiness.

Not listening to ourselves can get us into all sorts of trouble but the most challenging of these is not listening to our life’s calling and ignoring what our soul is guiding us to do. It is so easy to get sucked into what society is telling us to do and we get so caught up into all the “shoulds” and focus so much on those outer voices that we lose track of our inner guide. Do we have the right job or career, the right car, the clothes, the house. The list is endless potentially.

There have been times in my own life that I have been so focused on something that I thought I needed to have, to obtain, to be successful and happy, that I neglected other very important aspects of myself. One recent example for me is finding the “perfect” house. This turned into years of saving money, then selling the old place and buying the new one.

The interesting thing is that often, once we obtain this “wonderful” thing we thought we needed, we either realize it wasn’t that important or turn to the next thing we believe we need. It can seem endless, that search for the “perfect” life. Often, it is in giving up on and “getting over” all these things we think we need, that we open up the space to find and focus on what really brings us enduring joy and happiness.

All those “lost” childhood dreams still live within us and are just waiting to be allowed to come out and play and nurture our souls.

Being willing to give up the things we thought we needed to acquire in order to live a fulfilled life can take a lot of courage and often requires some major life-altering event such as an illness or death. Or perhaps we eventually grow weary of the status quo. As Joseph Campbell so wisely says “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”.

Being aware and accepting the fear that comes up for us when we start to imagine what this might be like can really help fuel our “getting over” this illusion of our life that we have created in our minds. Embracing this fear will often help fuel what needs to come next, as then we can also extend this embrace to the forgotten part of ourselves. For me is has been the forgotten painter within, for others it might be that dancer who is just waiting to spring into action, the musician, the explorer. All those “lost” childhood dreams still live within us and are just waiting to be allowed to come out and play and nurture our souls. Perhaps just choosing one thing we want to do and just carving out an hour a week that we make our own sacred space to work on that book we have dreamed of writing or building that boat we one day want to sail, we can start to feed the seeds of our soul.

In the shattering of the illusions we have about life can we find real joy.

Deciding to leave my job was not easy, and part of that process for me was “getting over” this image or idea of who I was and who I thought I was supposed to be. The job itself was a very good job in many ways, however, my true calling feels like it is elsewhere, at least for now. I have been lucky to have friends and family members as role models and have been inspired by a few famous artists who have had the courage to respond to their soul’s calling. As I step out I remember to let go of expectations and allow the outcome to be what it may.

In the shattering of the illusions we have about life can we find real joy.