This coming Wednesday Finn will have been with me for two weeks–see previous post, Rescue Dog: Meet Finn (Survivor). It fills my heart with joy all the ways this sweet, sweet dog has come around. He is putting on weight faster than I’d hoped was possible. He sleeps, something he really couldn’t do very well when he first came in and something I never get tired of seeing. He eats more than he could at first, good home-cooked food. He plays. His physical wounds are healing and his fur is growing in. And he seems to understand that he has a home, something that, because of some of his behaviors, I’m not sure he’s ever had.
It’s clear he’s never been allowed inside because he was so uncertain about crossing the threshold on that first day. Even still he hesitates at the door and searches my face before he’ll enter — and yet he is house broken.
There is something surrounding eating. Even when I first took food to him uptown, when I’d seen him and he wouldn’t get in my car, when he was starving and skin and bone, he was afraid to eat. He’d tip his head away from me and cringe in a very submissive posture, refusing to eat if I was near.
I’m happy to say he now eats out of my hand. It seems clear some of the old conditioning remains but, little by little, he’s coming to know that being fed is a good thing, a joy to be celebrated. He openly wags his tail when I’m preparing his meals now.
I think he’s coming to know attention is a good thing. He wants to be petted and regularly extends a paw asking for it — at the same time he stands very rigid, all muscles taut, barely breathing when I reach out to him or look at him.
He does that submissive sort of cringe, tucking his head away, at the same time he is leaning into me. He wants to be loved and noticed, to be touched, but he also fears and dreads it. Rather like we humans who have been hurt too much by love.
The shifting dynamic in my little home has been quite a challenge: how to honor my original family of two dogs and five cats at the same time making this new, sensitive, cautious soul feel welcomed, something I’m not sure he’s ever truly been.
Skye is totally smitten with him, which is especially sweet, since she came into the house just over a year ago, starving also. It seems she understands Finn perhaps more than the rest of us do. And she is extending herself in ways I’ve not seen from her before—a huge relief since on that first night she attacked full out. And Finn and Kelee are bonding over chasing coyotes out of the yard.
He is an easy dog. He’s very smart and wants to fit so he watches us and makes decisions. He knows Kelee needs to be the number one alpha male, so he defers to him in spite of his own alpha-ness.
He makes himself small when he feels he needs to, he’s gentle and tender with the cats, and he’s also FINALLY taught Skye the last lessons of housebreaking (thank you Finn)!
He goes out across the fields to explore and I see him, off in the distance, remember he has a place to return to. I call his name and watch his head lurch up, eyes filled with joy. The sun glints on his yellow fur and he dances over top the winter grasses, running the path he’s never known before—the one that brings him home.
Love to you all,
Jeane
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What a difference a week makes when love is involved. Your last paragraph brought tears…terrific writing!
I know what you mean about him wanting to be petted yet holding stiff and rigid. One of my feral cats (Emerald) that I’ve been feeding for a few years is the same way. She’ll rub my legs and roll over in the sun to show me she loves me…sometimes letting me pet her but DON’T try to pick her up! The other one (Tilly) won’t let me get close at all except when she’s eating…she’ll then allow me to rub the back of her neck. It’s a survival mechanism that will probably never be completely “tamed”. And I think that is a good thing…it will keep them alive longer. They are very, very street smart! Emerald loves to follow me down the driveway to get the mail.
You are a saint….
Linda
Thank you, Linda. I’m inspired by this guy’s journey. He’s easy to write about.
If I am a saint, you are as well. Just ask Emerald and Tilly. I think it’s a shame they have to remain a little wild for their own protection, but with feral animals, I know it’s true. For those we have tamed, however, let’s do everything we can to let them be easy–to live with their guards down. And let’s do everything we can to do the same for ourselves.
Dear Jeane: Your animal stories are just so touching to me. I also have 3 dogs and 5 cats, although two of my dogs (Anatolian Shepherds) are livestock protection dogs and live with the goats, altho they protect me more than the goats. My “house” dog is a 14 year old Rottweiler, and fading. I certainly admire all your efforts. Thank you in the name of all your “rescues”. I am quite involved in my beadig adventure and just started an 8 months long course. See how that will go. I look at your blog everyday and find encouragement in there and solace. Peace and love
margriet
Hi Margriet–I’m so happy to know that you check in with the blog every day. Thank you! Wow! Another person with 3 dogs and 5 cats! We should start a club. Are you coming to Truchas this summer? I think I remember Barbara and Alvaro saying you were. I look forward to seeing you, if so. I’m pleased you like the animal stories. They are so much a part of my life, as you see!
Finn sure looks a lot healthier. He’s liable to spit in your eye when you take him off of his weight gaining diet.
Don’t worry about Skye: top dog is usually female, and I think she was just asserting herself to let the new guy know the rules. It seems to have worked.
Yes, I’ve been thinking about when he gets tapered off the multiple meals per day, which is coming sometime soon, although he seems to go with the flow pretty well.
He’s definitely settled into the dynamic, but Skye let go of the top dog thing pretty fast. Now it’s all kissy-face with her 🙂
Wonderful! Finn is looking great from two weeks ago! I loved reading about how he is doing and how all of them are getting along so well. That last pharagraph did as well bring tears to my eyes; it was well written, I could picture very well Finn popping up his head and running back to his splendid home he now has. He looks so secure and very happy in all of the pictures and the vedio was a joy to watch! Take Care, Cin =)
It’s really fun documenting his progress because he is doing so well. I’m very grateful the way it’s turning out. It could have been very different!
You so naturally understand these creatures, Jeane. And they respond in kind.
Thanks Helen–They seem to have been coming to me since I was little and they are always blessings. Are you coming to Ghost Ranch this year?
Yes, I’ll be teaching a field-sketching workshop there from July 25-31. I’ll also be in the area (housesitting in Santa Fe) through the month of June. I’ve been thinking it’d be fun to come see you one afternoon in Truchas…
I would love it if you could come up for a visit in June! I’ll be sitting the gallery then and I have friends here from the 18th through the 26th, but I’m sure we could find an afternoon to share. We could have dinner at Rancho. Want to pick a date?
Jeane,
Ohhhh It is soooo Lovely to see the family getting along and blossoming:) I recognize that cringe/happy look from how our greyhound Flintstone would react in the first days we had him…his spirit was so crushed at first he would go and face the corner and just “shut down” if he was ever directed in any way…and we were so carefully gentle with him, he just was expecting the worst. Eventually though he would follow me everywhere and run and play in the yard…it’s nice to recall our sweet Flintstone thru your experience:) Thank you for that personally.
The film is great:) I was truly SHOCKED to see how much smaller than Kelee he is lol…wow Kelee is a big dog isn’t he? How much does he weigh in at? And that is missing a leg too!
I recall some one sharing with me (when Percy licks Rocks face and ears) that the licking of the face and ears – while it seems so sweet and is grooming , is actually also a dog’s way of asserting dominance. To me it seems in a very nice way…just making sure the hierarchy is understood and maintained:) The girl is always the leader we know THAT lol. Little “Baby” here is always keeping the boys in line even though Percy’s energetic ways bowl her over most of the time. She shows her dominance by jumping on them when they get out of line TOO far…lol.
I hope you are sleeping with a happy heart tonight:)
XOXX
Grace
Hi Grace–I’m so happy our unfolding story can bring you happy memories of your precious time with Flintstone. Finn is really starting to express JOY. He does this little sort of wiggle, glee, dance when he crosses the threshold now, coming in from outside. AND he chooses to sleep by my bed now, so I put his bed right next to me every night and pet him as I turn out the light. He’s really coming around! He’s snuffling and snoring at my feet right now. He still really needs to catch up on his rest.
It’s funny you mention that about Kelee’s size. I LIVE with these two and didn’t really see the difference until I saw that photo. Kelee is a big guy–probably 90 pounds and Finn was 50 when I took him to the vet that first day–more now 🙂
I don’t really see Skye’s kisses as dominating, but who knows? She really seems to want to care for Finn. There ARE times when she’s keeping him in line, though.
The kindness and patience you have offered this sweet soul is just what he needs. You indeed are his angel!
Thank you, Nancy. You should see him now! His sense of safety and joy are growing with each passing day. He does this adorable, full-body wiggle, finishing it off with a flourish at his hind end. I hope to catch THAT on video! The collar I bought him and had to punch extra holes in, that was huge for him even using the new holes, is snug on him now. And he’s getting quite a chest. I think he has some bulldog in him. I’ll do another update sometime soon.
I just found this story via Life with Dogs (from Facebook). What a wonderful story. You brought tears to my eyes. I love watching your ‘therapy’ dog (is that Skye?). What sensitive souls your dogs are. I can see peace and healing in your home, even over the Internet. I’ll be following. We all need to see more stories like this.
I’m glad you found it, Kathleen. Yes, that little therapy dog is Skye. She came to me a year ago, February, starving as well. You can see her story on previous posts Night Skye and A Celebration of Skye’s First Year, on the blog under Southwest Living. Her story is very compelling, too. Then there’s my beloved Kelee. You can see his story in the previous post, A Three Legged Man of the West, also under Southwest Living. I really like writing and sharing these rescue stories because I think they can inspire others to help animals that cross their paths and are in need. Thank you for reading Finn’s story and for responding. I’ll be writing more updates as he progresses.
Jeane,
I saw the beautiful 1st wordless video on “Life with Dogs”, and eagerly began following the links to your blog and updates on Fin’s progress.
I just want to say…………..GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a beautiful soul you are, I can say this with all certainty having never laid eyes on you.
I am an animal lover with the requisite keeping up on news, bills, laws, etc and have seen thousands of videos probably, as most of us have. I can’t say that I have ever been so touched and humbled. Now, please excuse me while I go read Skye and Kellee’s stories.
BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOUR EIGHT!
And all others who you have or are yet to have touched.
Lucy, NYC
Hi Lucy–
I’m so glad you found the posts and that you found Finn’s story to be moving. Thank you for all your kind words. I continue to understand, as the weeks go by, just how in trouble Finn was. He’s very shaggy right now, putting on new fur, which has made it clear how little he had. Funny the things we don’t see until they change. Did you find Skye’s and Kelee’s stories?
Blessings to you and all the animal advocacy you do,
Jeane
Hi Jeane, thanks for your kind response. Imagine my awe when I read Skye’s and Kelee’s stories!! I had watched your Finn (perfect name, by the way) videos, and here were these confident, nurturing dogs. I couldn’t believe Skye, especially, had come so far!! Also, I love your cats and how compassionate and giving they are, with regards to giving up their outdoor privileges as needed. Would love it if you did a blog/video on them and their stories and personalities. I am, by default at the moment, a “cat girl” due to living in a tenement apartment in NYC. I hope Finn is still coming along, and am glad he is bringing you so much love. Lucy
Hi Lucy–
It’s nice to hear from you again. I’m so glad you found Kelee’s and Skye’s stories. They are remarkable in how far they’ve come and, yes, Skye in particular. She plays day and night, now, with Finn. He’s more her age than Kelee and much more of a clown. Kelee is a very serious working dog and can only bring himself to something as frivolous as play occasionally and then he plays pretty rough. So Skye has a playmate now and I didn’t realize how much she needed one.
Finn continues to do incredibly well. He’s walking with Kelee and me every day now, through the land grant and out to the llano. He’s learning what he should and shouldn’t do–stay close to me, check in, come when he’s called. He’s really a great dog and I’m so grateful, every day, that he crossed my path when he did. He is a blessing to our family.
The idea of posts on the cats is a good one. I live with wonderful cats. They’ve been very welcoming to Finn. Right now I’m immersed in a project to open a gallery with my friend and we are deep in doing that. I haven’t even had time to do a Finn update. But, who knows, maybe one day soon you’ll see stories about my kitties. I think Boo and Raven would have to come first.
Thanks again for reading the blog and being in touch.
Blessings,
Jeane
Accept
Accept
Hi Lucy–Reading this makes me think how fortunate those of us with animals in our lives are. My thoughts regarding Joe and Mr. Knuckles: If you feel Joe would love a companion and you witnessed Mr. Knuckle’s easy acceptance of Joe, I think you should go looking for a buddy for Joe. You can never be sure how another cat will be received, though. Is it possible to foster a kitty until you find the right fit? I’m thinking you could bring a cat home from the shelter for just a night and day and, by then, you should be able to tell if Joe likes him/her. I’m so fortunate that Skye and Finn hit it off so completely. Yes, my house. Sometimes I have FIVE cats on my desk as I write and a couple of dogs at my feet. One friend said recently that I must never want a man in my life again!
I love your posts on Finn, but somehow missed this one. I really love this line…” and I see him, off in the distance, remember he has a place to return to.” That’s what it’s all about isnt..belonging somewhere. I hope Finn is doing well and is, by now, an entrenched member of the family. …Kim
There was something about that day, watching him out the window. It really was exactly that–that he remembered he had a home. I do think it’s what we all are seeking, what we all long for, to belong. And I think we get it on different levels–our own home, our own village, our friends, a life partner. But I don’t think we can, deeply, have any of these until we find that place of belonging within.
Finn is utterly and completely a member of the family now. He’s found a way to bond with Kelee that’s beginning to actually work! You’re reminding me, now that the gallery’s done, that it’s past time for another Finn update. I fear I don’t have much video this time, though. I’ve taken to just enjoying watching him rather than documenting him. I’ve missed so much great footage. He BOUNDS out the door, racing across the property and he does these little celebration dances from time to time that are so funny I laugh out loud. And I never have my camera! But, a new Finn post is on the horizon soon.
He must be the luckiest dog in the world! Beautiful story and video x
And I’m the luckiest human. I couldn’t love him more. He brings light and laughter to my life every single day. I’m happy you enjoyed his story.