The next number of posts, all titled Conversations on… come from email communications between a dear friend and me. With her permission, I am publishing excerpts from them because I feel they pertain to everything we’ve been discussing on the blog. Kate is in the process of trying to figure out how to be a writer and still maintain her teaching job. At her request I’ve changed her name and am using initials for people she brings up. It’d be great if you all would join our conversation… (this post is continued from the previous post)
Thank you for understanding. I know you live these fears too and appreciate them in a deep and visceral way.
I went for the CT scan. When it was over I left and began driving home. I was almost home when MF called on my cell to say the people at the imaging center were trying to find me to call me back for more scans. I had to turn around and go all the way back to get two more images. This was unsettling, needless to say. The best hope—which I’m trying to hold onto—is that they just wanted to make sure they could see everything clearly, just to make absolutely sure everything looks normal.
I had your painting (as in process, style, and various images, landscapes) in my mind overnight. Your spirit is speaking to mine. I am listening. I need to write more poetry.
I’m so glad you were feeling my paintings/my spirit last night. I found myself in a real place of peace. That hasn’t been the norm lately and it was nice to be in that space, to recognize it and sort of revel in it–a reminder that I’m not ALWAYS dark, which I was starting to believe was the case. I feel a big shift occurring in me, and it’s a blessing, at least in this moment.
All we can do is wait for the results from the CT scan and put positive energy toward it, as you’re trying to do. I think it makes sense they just wanted clearer pictures. You already knew something was there. They just wanted a very good look. Will you have answers on Monday? Until then try envisioning good health flowing into your body, into your throat. Yes, write poetry. Your voice wants to express itself–wants to be heard. I absolutely believe we can heal ourselves when we connect with the messages our bodies are sending. Spend the weekend in as much peace and self care as you can and give your spirit voice. Have MF take you out to dinner! And if you have a bathtub, immerse yourself in a warm bath.
I thought these pictures of Kelee enjoying the snow might make you smile. He sends big love and wet kisses. Me too (except not the kisses)
Thank you SO much for these photos and for the ones you sent the other day. I have had one of Kelee open on my desktop since I received the first set. This does make me smile, inside and out. Both Kelee and Charlie (who also loves to roll in the snow) give a whole new meaning to snow angels!
To be continued…
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All photos in today’s post except for the two with Kelee in the snow were shot by Kevin Hulett.