Note: I have a confession to make. In fact I was blasted out of a deep sleep by the phone ringing and Kim on the other end of the line excited about the beautiful sunrise. I WAS SLEEPING RIGHT THROUGH IT! I have no idea why, but thank you, Kim, for waking me, right? Now to your sugar-coated post, the way I first wrote it (ultimately I just couldn’t leave you with half-truths):
I awakened to a stunning sunrise this morning. A storm is coming in over the weekend promising snow, fingers crossed. So we’re getting some clouds in. Always good for the sun projecting its colors.
I was like a little kid at Christmastime anyway because Kim (see previous post Change, Lovely Change) had given me a huge box of my favorite tea last night, Twining’s Earl Gray, and a box of ginger biscuits, so I was eager to dig into them this morning. We’d been watching some English period piece by the BBC the other night, you see, and everybody was eating biscuits. By now you’re all aware of my delight in wonderful foods. Add to that the repeated power of suggestion, I mean it was all biscuits, biscuits, biscuits, and you just KNOW what that had to do to me! AND living high up on a mountain in a tiny village with no grocery stores of any kind, let alone one that would carry English tea biscuits, I was left wanting. But Kim had to go into Santa Fe a few days later so he brought me some.
… pure bliss.
On my walk with the dogs, after tea, I got to thinking about gifts and giving. It’s never been easy for me to receive graciously. But long ago a young friend, still in college, was studying Philosophy and Psychology. She told me that one of her textbooks had a section that explored the concept of receiving as gift to the giver. Apparently, giving is extremely important to our psyches, even to our brain chemistry, if I remember correctly. So if we deny something given to us, we deny the giver this important act of giving. I’ve practiced being mindful of this ever since. Still needs some work I’m afraid.
But that brought up something else. Most of you know I’ve had shingles for months now (see previous post An Antidote for Pain). It has been extremely painful; more painful than I’ve been willing to admit to you and more painful than could be touched by pain meds. So I’ve just had to live with it.
One night while watching a movie with Kim in his Airstream (we came to call it Cinestream) (see previous post A Very Mini Artist’s Colony in New Mexico), he was having real trouble with a very sore shoulder. The muscle was sort of spasming. I told him I could try to help by massaging it. He was reluctant to accept because I was in such extreme pain myself. But I convinced him that my pain was going to continue whether I worked on his shoulder or not, so why shouldn’t I at least try? Finally, he let me.
And an amazing thing happened. After a bit, my pain was lessened, and soon it was almost gone. Really. We did this night after night and the result was always the same. By helping Kim with his pain, he was helping me with mine.
I asked my pain doctor about it and he said it made perfect sense. That helping Kim was taking me out of my pain body. Wow. It continues to help and I’ve also found that it works when I massage my animals.
When we give we receive. When we accept what is given, we give.
Love to you all,